


risk-taking

by castielwholmes



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Theme: Quote, if repayment fes makes you cry and you know it clap your hands, sorta?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-06-27 16:28:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19794670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/castielwholmes/pseuds/castielwholmes
Summary: Although I did have Adonisu-dono accompany with me with special training!





	risk-taking

_“Y-yes. I-I ended up causing a lot of trouble on many levels at “Repayment Festival”! And for Adonis-dono as well. Adonis-dono came to pay me a visit, and I made you come along with me for my special training. I am deeply sorry—I am too ashamed to show my face!”_

_“Don’t worry about it. I said the same thing back then too, didn’t I? I was worried because there was no contact from you, and you stopped attending classes. But after hearing your reasons, I’ve accepted it.”_

_\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Adonis knew that Repayment Fes was taking a huge toll on Souma. So when he begged him with tears in his eyes to assist him in his training, there was no way he could refuse. He could tell that the loneliness was consuming him, and it hurt him deeply to see his best friend like this.

He didn’t bother going home to bring anything, only calling his mom to let her know he’s with Kanzaki and not to worry about him. His friend needed him right now. And for some of the things he was doing, it seemed like he wasn’t expecting Adonis to sit with him and meditate or anything. At times it even felt like he didn’t even need him to be there at all, but by the way Souma’s expression would soften upon looking at him it seemed like he just wanted him to be there with him.

Of course, for things like running and climbing and strength training they would work together, but when Souma was at his most vulnerable, consumed by his thoughts to a dangerous level, he needed to know that someone was still by his side. And sometimes Adonis could see him pushing back tears, at which he would move closer to him and hold his hand. He’s still not sure what possessed him to do it, but it seemed to help. It was the worst once night fell, when Souma finally allowed himself to relax and everything he’d been trying so desperately to avoid came up on him all at once. Adonis’s heart ached thinking about how he must have spent the last few nights crying alone without anyone to hold him. He knew how vulnerable Souma can be on the inside, so of course he pulled him close at the sight of the first tear rolling down his cheek. He let Souma cry until he couldn’t cry any more, and through his sobs he could hear things like “not ready” “responsibility” and “don’t want to be alone.”

That last one hit Adonis the hardest. Souma will never be alone as long as he’s there. He swears it. He couldn’t stop himself from pressing his lips to the top of Souma’s head, and his chest was getting wet from Souma’s tears but he only pulled him closer. Once Souma’s tears had run out he seemed to realize how he had just presented himself, and he seemed embarrassed about Adonis having to see all of that. He apologized for being so weak, but Adonis told him that he’s really one of the strongest people he knows, and one of the bravest. He’s not just sitting aside and letting this all happen, he’s working hard to ensure that he’s ready when the time comes. And, he reminded him, he’ll never be alone. He won’t let that happen. Souma looked at him in wonder, and Adonis kissed his forehead. A promise.

That was all in the last ten hours or so, and now Adonis lies awake watching the gentle rise and fall of his sleeping best friend’s chest. Right now is the most relaxed he’s seen Souma in… when was the last time he came to class? Wednesday? It’s Tuesday now, so that’d be in about a week. Almost one week since the last time he’s seen his smile, when normally it comes so easily around him. But even then he’d seemed tired, drained. He’d seen the beginnings of his worries during the preparation for 2-A’s Class Live, but hadn’t expected it to get this bad. He wishes Souma would _talk_ about these things.

He sighs, reaching out a hand to gently touch Souma’s face. Maybe once tomorrow comes things will be easier.

\--------

Repayment Festival is in two days.

They awaken with the sunrise, or Adonis does at least. Souma’s spot in the makeshift tent has gone cold, so he must have been awake for a while now. He recalls something about sleep deprivation being part of his training, but as an idol sleep is important for both physical strength and appearance. He wouldn’t dare disgrace his seniors by going onstage losing his balance and with dark circles under his eyes, he told him, but he must also deprive himself of some worldly necessities if his training is to be considered effective. Adonis suspects that food may be included in these necessities, as Souma had seemed surprised when he offered to catch some fish, but even if that was the case he did eat quite eagerly. Not even grueling ascetic practice can overrule the stomach of an active, growing boy, it seems. Still, he doubts his best friend will be much up for breakfast.

Now he wishes he’d brought more than just his usual practice clothes, but he hopes the fact that he’d spent most of the previous day with his shirt off will make up for wearing it two days in a row. He’d been surprised at first to see the robes Kanzaki was wearing that were probably white once, now covered in dirt stains to the point he can’t be sure if it wasn’t tan from the beginning, but when his best friend puts his mind to something he goes all out. Plus, they aren’t all that different from what he normally seems to wear at home, at least to Adonis’s untrained eye.

“Kanzaki,” he calls as he leaves the tent. No answer. “Kanzaki?” There is nothing but forest ahead of him. It looks different in the light of the dawn that his best friend’s unit is named for. He smiles at the wordplay in spite of himself.

Setting off on the path they had last walked seems like the best option. Lined with trees barely beginning to bud, the trail is almost eerily quiet. Adonis winces with every step he takes, as it seems to echo in the silence of the early morning. If he were tracking any sort of prey, it would be long gone by now. He hopes the same isn’t true for Kanzaki. At times he’d seemed so scared, not unlike a skittish animal. But he knows him well enough to know that if he had enough reason to ask him to join him in his training, he would not abandon him so easily.

 _This forest is filled with so much history._ He can’t help but wonder how many others have walked this path without bearing the Kanzaki name. Souma had implied in passing that it had been kept to his family for generations, so he hopes that his ancestors aren’t frowning upon his presence.

His ears perk at the faint sounds of running water. He should be getting closer. His pace quickens, hoping he hasn’t made a mistake in where he thought his friend would be, but as the rush of the waterfall grows louder he begins to hear the familiar sound of Souma’s singing voice as well.

Akatsuki’s youngest is perched on top of a large boulder, standing on one foot as he practices songs he had never before sung completely on his own. He moves his arms with the flow of the words, but just before he reaches the chorus of Usubeniiro no Yakusoku he appears to mistakenly attempt the footwork, nearly losing his balance. Adonis rushes forward in case his friend falls, but all that comes from his mistake is a pout that he would consider almost childish were he not aware of his frustrations.

“Kanzaki, are you alright?”

And for the first time in too long, Souma’s face breaks into a smile. “Adonis-dono!” Warmth spreads through his chest as he smiles back. Souma nimbly hops down from his training spot and runs over to greet him.

“Good morning. You looked beautiful.” Souma’s face reddens slightly.

“Ah, thank you, but I still have much to learn. I had hoped that focusing on the lyrics themselves would help me learn how best to arrange the melody while singing alone, given that there are some times that only the harmony has been engrained into my mind, but I cannot separate the dance from the music.” He sighs heavily. “It seems my training up to this point has been insufficient if I cannot perform such a menial task.”

Adonis furrows his brow in confusion. “What purpose would it serve to separate them? As an idol, the way we combine the two is a large part of this art form. Wouldn’t separating them make them more difficult to combine again later on?”

Souma wears an expression suited for someone who’s trying to come up with a sensible answer in response to a more sensible comment that completely contradicts their argument, and then one of someone who has accepted their fate as somewhat of an idiot. “I… I had not thought of that. It seems that I am in no way suited to lead a performance, much less any sort of unit. There is only one way I can atone for this, and that is with my own life!”

Adonis grabs Souma’s hand before he can reach for his sword. “There are few things in this world more precious than your life, Kanzaki. Please reconsider.” Souma almost looks disappointed, but nods and lowers his head. “If I would be a suitable audience, could I be of assistance in some way? You could sing, and I could provide guidance as to how you could make things work. I love your voice, so it would be in no way a problem for me.”

Souma seems to ponder for a moment on how he could refuse to accept Adonis’s praise without sounding like he doesn’t respect his judgment, but ultimately fails. “…Alright then. If you’re sure you won’t be disappointed.”

“I never could be.” And that warm smile is back, filling Adonis with relief and something else he can’t quite name. “I look forward to it.”

Dawn turns into day, and Souma’s voice is beginning to sound hoarse. “Under any other situation I shouldn’t give in to things like this,” he explains as he pours tea he had prepared before setting off for the two of them, “but I am taking liberties such as these to preserve what is necessary to be a proper _aidoru_.”

“Your ancestors must have been very dedicated if they were able to do the things you speak of. Would you mind telling me more?”

Souma’s face lights up, and he launches into a detailed explanation of Shugendo and the Yamabushi and asceticism. A religion that had even been outlawed for a period of time, and men who would commit themselves to a lifetime of training in the woods. He tells Adonis of a trial that either ends once one has walked consistently for 1000 days or committed suicide, and how one of his distant relatives had failed.

“There is one trial consisting of being held back by ropes over a cliff,” he says excitedly. “I had been hoping to try that now that you are here with me. The thrill of the life-threatening situation is said to be indescribable!” He speaks in a way that suggests he is a child talking about a new roller coaster, not someone interested in taking a risk with death on the line. His pout when Adonis refuses is much like a child’s as well.

“I don’t think that’s safe. You could hurt yourself and be unable to perform, and then all your training will be for nothing if you can’t perform.” Souma reluctantly agrees, but then his eyes shine with a new idea.

“Ah, if Adonis-dono would be so interested, would you like to try on the training robes? I brought an extra set in case irreversible harm came to these, but I believe mine have held up fairly well.”

Adonis may be close to a grown man, but oddly he has no objection to Souma excitedly helping him undress to change into the robes. It feels comfortable in a way he does not quite understand. It must be how relaxed they are around each other, that these things don’t feel strange at all.

…Or so he thought. As Souma carefully ties up the robes, nimble fingers occasionally brushing against Adonis’s skin, a shiver runs up his spine.

“Adonis-dono? Is everything alright? Did I tie something too tightly?”

“No, everything’s fine. It just tickles, that’s all.” He nearly winces at those words, but the mischievous smile never comes. Souma only nods and apologizes before going back to his work. He seems to be more careful not to touch Adonis, which he can’t help but feel disappointed by.

Once he’s finished Souma steps back to admire his handiwork, looking Adonis over with a careful gaze before determining it satisfactory with a nod. “Perfect! It suits you well, Adonis-dono. You really are quite attractive, you know.”

“A-ah.” The affirmation feels caught in his throat. “Thank you. For the compliment.” His head is spinning slightly. Is something too tight? He’s unsure as to what may be causing it, but after a moment it disappears. Probably nothing to worry about then. “What else can we do?”

Admittedly, Adonis had been looking forward to the waterfall training ever since Souma had first mentioned it. It sounds quite nice, like a shower to wash off the sand after a day at the beach. He’s not sure why something like that is counted among such other harsh methods. Perhaps the water is cold?

The only similarity the falls bear to a shower is the downward cascade of water. Adonis is not proud of the noise he let out when he stuck his arm under it and was hit by the intense pressure of the flow, but he won’t totally refuse to own up to it if it meant he gets to see Souma giggle in such a way.

Meanwhile, the other boy has removed the top portion of his robes and calmly stepped under the waterfall. Adonis catches the brief wince at the first contact but his face quickly settles into something more solemn. This may not be the best time to marvel at the way his best friend’s body is shaped, but he can’t help himself. His posture is impeccable, and the definition of his relatively thin arms seems as though they were chiseled out of marble. His pale skin is beginning to turn red from the repeated blows of the water, but is beautiful nonetheless. Souma may have praised Adonis’s looks, but he feels nobody could even begin to compare to his best friend.

While he would like to admire him a bit longer, it quickly becomes apparent that something is wrong.

Souma’s steady breathing appears deep and irregular. His face has contorted into a pained expression, eyes shut tight and lips pressed together.

“Kanzaki! Get out from there!” Adonis yells, reaching out for his friend’s arm. But before he can grab him Souma holds out his hand for him to stop.

“No, Adonis-dono. I… I need to conquer this waterfall.” The words sound frivolous, but Adonis doesn’t dare smile. “I have been working up towards this for quite some time, spending hours under gentler ones until even those began to sting. If I can withstand this… this pain, then, ah, I will be more confident in the journey ahead.” He looks Adonis in the eye, and he realizes he cannot say no to him. “Please. It is my pride as a Kanzaki.”

“Alright then.” Souma almost looks disappointed that he didn’t push it any further. “May I stay with you, then? I want you to share your burdens with me. That’s what friends are for, isn’t it?” He hopes he gets the deeper meaning, and decides to take the way Souma reaches for his hand as confirmation. Adonis breathes in once, twice, and steps under the falls.

Holding Souma’s hand doesn’t necessarily dull the pain, but the way Souma squeezes Adonis’s reminds him what it’s for. And he believes it’s worth it.

They could have been standing there for mere minutes or for hours, Adonis isn’t sure. When Souma tugs at his hand and staggers out from under the water all he knows is that he’s very glad to be done. That is, until Souma stumbles and Adonis feels himself being dragged down into the river. “WHOA-”

The pair falls with a loud splash, startling some birds that had come to look for water-dwelling insects. They chirp indignantly as they fly off, but Adonis and Souma don’t notice. Their attention is fully on the fact that their faces are mere centimeters away from each other, Adonis leaning over Souma who’s lying on his back in the mud.

“Oh-”

“Sorry-”

Adonis knows he should move, but it’s as if something is keeping him in place. “You, uh, should wash your hair. You can wear my clothes from yesterday too, if you like.”

Souma nods. “Ah. Yes.”

“Alright.” Still neither of them makes any effort to move. Were Souma’s eyes always this beautiful? His skin is so smooth, without a mark to be seen. He knows his sisters would do quite literally anything for skin as perfect as his. Is it odd to think of a nose as cute?

Said cute nose crinkles into a giggle. “Adonis-dono, I’m not sure how this feels for you, but there happens to be a rock digging into my back. Could you let me up?”

“Oh. Right. Yes.” What’s gotten into him? “I’m sorry.”

“No, I was the one who pulled you down. I should be sorry.”

“You received most of the damage.” Adonis gestures to Souma’s muddy robes. “So you don’t need to apologize. Let’s get you cleaned up.”

There may be no real difference between the practice clothes for the different units, but Adonis thinks there’s something about seeing Souma in his clothes that he particularly likes. They’re slightly loose on him, but not too much as to be really noticeable.

Souma decides to spend the rest of the day practicing song and dance, rather than put himself through any more non-idol training. Adonis likes watching this best, as it’s clear how despite his stress being an idol is something that Souma really loves. The delight on his face when Adonis tells him of a note he hit perfectly or a step that went perfectly in time from the music playing from his smartphone lights up the area around them, even as it grows dark. Once it’s difficult to see, however, they decide it’s time for a quick dinner of more fish around the fire Adonis had built.

“How was it?” Adonis asks once Souma had finished, given that the other boy had eaten so quickly that he hadn’t had a chance to get an answer out of him.

“Delicious,” Souma confirms. “Ah, that was wonderful. A meal shared with a friend after a hard day’s work, there’s really nothing better.” His face is soft in the glow from the fire. “Thank you.” He looks off into the distance, and after a few moments his smile fades into a worried frown.

“What’s wrong?”

“I fear…. I fear that asking you to join me may have been a bad idea.”

Adonis’s heart sinks. He’s been a distraction. Souma had been less mindful of his own training for the sake of his comfort. “Kanzaki, I’m so-“

“When my ancestors were here, they would completely deprive themselves of any forms of material or worldly happiness, focusing only on the goal ahead and the happiness they would feel once it has been achieved. I had been so anxious thinking about what next year will bring that I thought I had finally been able to set my training path. But with you here, I cannot seem to keep my mind off of the happiness beside me, and I begin to wonder if things may be okay even if I do not complete this.” The light from the fire flickers in Souma’s eyes, and for a moment Adonis forgets how to breathe.

“I see.” He doesn’t, really.

“Adonis-dono. You told me that as long as you are here, I would never be alone, is that correct?”

“Of course.”

“That no matter what happens, you won’t leave my side?”

“I swear it, Kanzaki.”

“Then will you allow me to take the risk and do something that may change your mind?” Souma’s hand brushes over Adonis’s, moving up his arm and settling on his cheek. Adonis couldn’t say no if he wanted to. He’s not sure if even his heart is beating right now. He’s completely frozen.

And Souma kisses him. Softly, as though he isn’t sure Adonis is really there. Gently, as if he’s afraid he’ll run away. And then hungrily, as if he cannot get enough of him. Adonis doesn’t even have to think twice before kissing him back, which works out in the sense that at present he’s unable to think even once. He reaches up to cup Souma’s face in his hand, slipping the other around his waist to pull him as close as he possibly can.

Souma’s expression is solemn once they break apart, but as Adonis brushes his cheekbone with his thumb he melts into the softest smile he’s ever seen on anyone in his life.

“Adonis-dono, will you stay by my side forever?” he asks in a near whisper, in a tone that implies he already knows the answer. And as actions speak louder than words, Adonis responds by initiating another kiss.

“Of course.” Souma laughs.

“Ah, I wonder if it is alright for me to feel such happiness. By filling myself with such worldly pleasure, not only have I failed my ancestors, I have failed my seniors as well.” Souma gazes up at the stars, as if yearning to apologize to them. His tone suggests more humor than solemnity, but Adonis knows that his words are certainly not empty.

“You haven’t failed anyone,” Adonis insists, before leaning back in for yet another kiss. Surely if he’s kissing him, he reasons, he cannot think such negative things. “Your ancestors should be proud of you for forging your own path, creating the Kanzaki Souma method of being both a warrior and an idol. I don’t think any of them even knew what idols were, so surely they can’t disapprove of your choice when you work so hard. And I think it would be near impossible for you to fail Kiryu-senpai and Hasumi-senpai. Those two are good seniors. All they want is to be able to help you be the best idol and man that you can.”

Souma leans into his palm, relishing the touch. “You really believe that.”

“I do.”

“Then I suppose there is no way I can argue. Even if I have my doubts about what you have said.”

“We’re all very proud of you, Kanzaki. You have the power to be a wonderful leader. And you know that your seniors will always be willing to help if you contact them. And I will always be here to try and ease your troubles. You don’t have to carry this burden alone.” Adonis kisses Souma’s forehead. “I was so lonely until I met you last year. As thanks, I don’t want you to ever feel like I did. So promise me you’ll count on those around you, alright?”

Souma nods. “I promise.”

The two of them sit in comfortable silence, gazing at the stars overhead with a new sense of excitement for the days to come.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm sorry for the abrupt ending i finished this at 5am and could not come up with anything better  
> anyways i hope you liked it! i've been meaning to write this for AGES and i’m pretty proud of it so kudos/comments are much appreciated!!!  
> i'm always up for some adosou screaming over at @adosoumas on twitter


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